Categories
#special issue: Becoming a Mother

Marie Silkeberg /// Giving birth

t h i s b o u n d l e s s n e s s i s c h a r a c t e r i s t i c
open paragraph night comma the pain comma started comma i felt no fear comma i listened to the greek composer xenakis comma a drum piece comma intense drumming comma i read
somewhere that he found his inspiration to his huge moving sound structures from the demonstrating crowds comma moving through the streets of athens comma how the sounds move
from chaos to sense comma direction comma action and back comma starting anew comma other direction comma same force comma even as hesitation comma as hesitation comma the
height of the intensity close paragrph

n o t o f p o l i t i c a l a c t i o n a l o n e
as though boundlessness of human interrelatedness were only the result of the boundless multitude of people involved, which could be escaped by resigning oneself to action within a
limited, graspable framework of circumstances, the smallest act in the most limited circumstances bears the seed of the same boundlessness, because one deed, and sometimes one word,
suffices to change every constellation
i n t h e n a r r o w e r s e n s e o f t h e w o r d
open paragraph never comma had i sensed comma something like comma it comma the body comma the intense drumming comma the physical sensations comma could be identified
comma as pain comma but so connected comma to menstruation comma to sex comma known comma unknown comma labour close paragraph

a s t h o u g h b o u n d l e s s n e s s o f h u m a n i n t e r r e l a t e d n e s s w e r e
o n l y t h e r e s u l t o f t h e b o u n d l e s s m u l t i t u d e o f p e o p l e i n v o l v e d
an open book is also the night. i don«t know why the words i just wrote, make me cry. marguerite duras
w h i c h c o u l d b e e s c a p e d b y r e s i g n i n g o n e s e l f t o a c t i o n
w i t h i n a l i m i t e d, g r a s p a b l e f r a m e w o r k o f c i r c u m s t a n c e s,
open paragraph morning comma increasing labour comma water comma water comma delivery comma hot water comma he was silent comma the room comma was silent comma only
movement comma was his eyes opening comma slowly comma the water disappeared comma full of blood and amniotic fluid comma i was shivering comma wet and cold comma i stared
comma stared comma fullness nothingness merging comma close paragraph
t h e s m a l l e s t a c t i n t h e m o s t l i m i t e d
c i r c u m s t a n c e s b e a r s t h e s e e d o f t h e s a m e b o u n d l e s s n e s s
a friend of mine – mother and stepmother – in denmark calls the public library to ask if they allow illegal refugees without papers, and consequently with no identification number necessary
in all nordic countries while dealing with any public institution whatsoever, to borrow books from the library. yes the librarist says. the miracle, the productive innocense if you want, in
this anecdote is not the answer but the question
b e c a u s e o n e d e e d, a n d s o m e t i m e s o n e w o r d,
s u f f i c e s t o c h a n g e e v e r y c o n s t e l l a t i o n
open paragraph in one single stroke dash the other child comma the many others dash all the fantasies comma would dash what question mark disappear question mark merge comma melt
into each other question mark become a part of me question mark of the child question mark the space between us question mark close paragraph
a c t i o n h a s t h e c l o s e s t c o n n e c t i o n w i th t h e h u m a n
c o n d i t i o n o f n a t a l i t y; t h e n e w b e g i n n i n g i n h e r e n t i n b i r t h
open paragraph he was some months old comma i could still rest his small head in my hand comma we were close to the window comma the soft spring light touched his face comma it
changed quickly into evershifting expressions comma as if playing with comma reacting comma to the light comma how comma will i ever comma be able comma to answer this i thought
comma how many of these faces will he later be able to remember question mark close paragraph
c a n m a k e i t s e l f f e l t i n t h e w o r l d o n l y b e c a u s e t h e n e w c o m e r
p o s s e s s e s t h e c a p a c i t y o f b e g i n n i n g s o m e t h i n g a n e w, t h a t i s, o f a c t i n g .
open paragraph the heart comma is not a metaphor comma biologically speaking comma six years old comma he had a heart surgery comma this body comma loved comma beyond comma
beyond comma with tubes as umbilical cords hanging from his opened comma sewn comma chest comma here comma one of the nights comma i watched over him comma he said comma
one of the moments comma he rose to conciousness comma take comma some of my blanket comma share it comma so you won’t get comma cold close paragraph
a n e l e m e n t o f a c t i o n, a nd t h e r e f o r e o f n a t a l i t y, i s i n h e r e n t
i n a l l h u m a n a c t i v i t i e s h a n n a h a r e n d t

Marie Silkeberg, poet, lives in Stockholm

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *